IKEA, College Park

Saturday morning saw a trek to IKEA. I convinced Monkey to come, promising that with a mere 75 cents and an ipod, he could actually enjoy my shopping experience: he brought his homework and read in the cafeteria lounge with unlimited coffee refills while I wandered aimlessly, blissfully, through low-priced, earth-conscious housewares. (It also didn’t hurt to temp him with the aspect of 99 cent breakfast; I even told him he could have two breakfasts, if he wanted, if he’d only come with me. Call me pisher.)

The one thing that I truly love about IKEA is its cafeteria. It’s SUPER CHEAP, and it’s actually pretty good. Best of all, if you get to IKEA before they open, their cafeteria is there to feed you and make everything all right, and maybe even give you a big hug from the heart pillow.

So, how does a girl with no car make it to the College Park IKEA? (If you know how to get to the one in VA, PLEASE tell me.)
1) Leave as early as possible. Factor in 2 extra hours of flub time, because if you miss the bus, you won’t just be singing a Kris Kross song.
2) Take metro to the College Park station.
3) Wait for the Calverton bus. (86, I think.) Try and get there just before the hour, since it comes between X:02 and X:05. If you have missed it, look forward to your hour wait. Bring headphones and a cellphone and be ready to call parents, a boyfriend or the police at the drop of a hat. My past three trips to IKEA have had an overly-amorous Cote d’Ivoire immigrant, an overly-amorous stoned guy, and a couple of strung-out women, with and without children in tow. Also, lots of immature, albeit morning-after UMd College Park students.
4) The Calverton bus drops off directly in front of IKEA.
5) Eat at the IKEA cafeteria.
6) Shop, if you must do that as well.
7) When you are ready to leave, wait for the bus at the bus stop just north of and on the opposite side of where you disembarked. (I so wanted to write that in Spanish, because it makes more sense to me that way.)
8) Take the Rhode Island bus back to the College Park metro. You can also ride it for forever and a day to the end of the line and take the Rhode Island metro instead. This too, you will have to time perfectly, as it also comes between X:02 and X:05 and is hourly.

On the upside, we are ever-nearing the wine and wax party, and are correspondingly ever-nearing readiness and cleanapartmentness. May The San Francisco Treat know what she is missing. I heart Scandinavian entertaining supplies.